The Descent [REVIEW]

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I’m an English teacher not Tomb Raider – Beth


Neil Marshall is a GOD! The man brought us Dog Soldiers (the one in which werewolves eat military folk) and Centurion (the one in which Michael Fassbender gives us all the tingles in full Ancient Roman drag). In what is arguably his masterpiece we get some incredibly intense personal drama AND crazed cave dwelling humanoids.

Beware of SPOILERS!

Sarah and her lady friends (including Juno) are sporty type hetero ladies who enjoy white water rafting, mountain climbing etc. AKA things that I am way too lazy to ever get into. On the way home from one said adventure, Sarah’s husband and little girl (who were standing on the sidelines taking video) are killed in a terrible car accident. There is a lot of guilty looks from Juno and Sarah has a classic hospital freakout ala Halloween 2.

A year later Juno has convinced Sarah and their group of plucky friends to go cave exploring (spelunking?) in America. After a cave in leaves them all trapped Juno admits that she lied about the caves which have actually never been explored. Help won’t be coming because they told everyone they’d be at the touristy cave. Lest ye think this is your standard “ladies are trapped in a cave and turn on one another” Terrifying cannibalistic humanoid cave dwellers (C.H.C.Ds?) show up and begin to pick the girls off. I won’t get any more spoilery then that. But I will demand and I do say DEMAND that you only watch the original Director’s Cut not the American version in which the ending is ruined by way of sucking. A great movie to watch with a group of friends. But be warned you will never considering going in a god damn cave again!

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