Go ahead! Eat the writer! That will leave you explaining how your character gets to Bremen!- FW Murrnau

When I was home visiting family last week, my mom and I went to the Dollarama. And of course I made a bee-line to the Halloween aisle. Zombie Jesus I love me some discount Halloween products. The first thing I see is a bin of horror DVDs. Horror DVDS? At the Dollarama? Surely they will all be the worstest movies so bad they aren’t even fun to make fun of right? But I wouldn’t know if I didn’t at least take a quick look. And in among the terrible terrible looking movies (they looked truly awful) was a copy of one of my favouritest films with Willam Defoe! SHADOW OF THE MOTHER FUCKING VAMPIRE! Yes that is right, the meta-mind fuck where in John Malkovich plays FW Murnau the director of Nosferatu?! As in the first vampire movie ever and also one of the greatest vampire movies of EVER. For less then the cost of a fancy Starbucks muffin?! I am pretty sure the various people of Dollarama (like people of WalMart but more ghettolicious) were all confused by the high pitched squealing coming from aisle 2…

Those of you unfamiliar with the plot it can pretty much be summed up as thus. Murnau is making a movie ripping off the novel Dracula, changing the names and that is about it. In the role of Count Orlock he hires a real mother fucking Vampire (Willam Defoe). He tells the cast and crew (Udo Kier, Eddie Izzard & Carey Elwes among others) that Max Schreck is a method actor who will be in full character and make up at all times. They will only film at night and he will be staying up in the mountains separate from the rest of the crew. What follows is all sorts of epic, as Defoe lurks around serving vampyr realness as he slowly works his way through the crew.

This movie is pretty much all about Defoe’s performance as Schreck. He completely inhabits the role of this horrifying undead creature. At once giving us a vision of evil while simultaneously being a complete diva, his demands of the director growing more and more outrageous, as he works his way through the crew draining them off their life and blood.

This movie is perfect in so many ways. The perfect companion piece to the original black and white silent classic Nosferatu. I can not recommend it more!


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